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2003-03-07, 11:12
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 835
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my song.
You may or may not like it, im in a metalcore/hardcore band so every now and then i contribute lyrics and this is one of the songs i wrote.
"The Blade"
Knife cutting your skin like needles of guilt
traditions of hating warn on you like a kilt
On special occasions you kill
(BV)like nothings happened before
Living through you is living a thrill
(BV)like nothings happened before
Can't make up your mind
to live or to die
you see me standing there as you drown
with one hand out waving goodbye
(BV)in pain you will die
die with the guilt filling your eyes
(BV)in pain you will die
die with my hand on your thigh
the blade has sunk through
------------------------------------
BV = backing vocals.
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.hiding, the meaning of.
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2003-03-07, 17:53
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Colorado, U.S.A.
Posts: 277
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My only gab is about the "warn on you like a kilt". I think you meant to say wore? Otherwise I found it pretty decent and it gave me a laugh about the kilt. Scottish people only wear them on special occasions(right??).  Also "Living through you is living a thrill" sounded abit bleah...
Like I said earlier "I found it pretty decent."
Last edited by killingismybiz : 2003-03-09 at 03:52.
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2003-03-08, 20:15
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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I got a chuckle out of the kilt, too. It just didn't seem to fit the serious tone of the rest of the piece to me. Almost a forced rhyme. I'm thinking of maybe a phrase ending with 'hilt' since that's a part of a knife. I don't know if that's any help. The rest of the song was good though.
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2003-03-14, 03:45
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 655
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I thought it was pretty good man, just have to fix it up a bit and make it a bit longer too. Other then that , it's good. Good luck.
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walk through nature's dwelling
hide from obscure trees listening
winter brings gloom, brings remnants of our shadows
twilight casts spells on those who espouse their fate
ice pricks necks like knives, leaving shards of cadaverous skin
tears spout from eyes, shunned from mankind's den
(Prayer For Cleansing/ "A Dead Soal Born")
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2003-03-18, 19:41
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 835
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yeah, meant to say wore. Or worn even. Thanks for the remarks. BTW metalmaniac- not much to make longer, hardcore vocals aren't that lengthy.
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